Dilemmas

Most New Years come with a sense of turning over a new leaf. We make resolutions that we think will make us better people. There is often a sense of anticipation at what lingers on the horizon of the coming year. Most years, this is the feeling that I have. Not this year.

Since coming back to the USA from Malaysia in September 2007, I thought that I would go back once I had attained a teacher's certification. I thoroughly enjoyed working in a middle school last year I am looking forward with great anticipation to the next 14 weeks as I student teach. Through it all, the question that keeps echoing is, "What next?"

I have loads of ideas. Teach for America is a program that places teachers in innercity schools in places like New Orleans, Houston, Washington D.C. and New York City. I am applying to that program. I have great friends in Bellingham, WA and could try for a job there. Recently I was in Pensacola, FL and that is a possibility.

However, day after day, I can't shake the feeling that I want to go back overseas again. There were tons of struggles living in Malaysia but it was worth it. So much so that I still call Malaysia home, after all, I lived there for 5 years and have been back in the USA for 15 months.

I also miss scuba diving. The only other time I have had this same feeling was when I broke up with my girlfriend in my first year of university. Something is missing that I love and I want it back. I was reading today an article about Layang-Layang, one of a few places in Malaysia I have yet to dive (also Pulau Tioman and Aur, and Labuan) and seeing scalloped hammerheads and manta rays makes me want to get on a plane NOW.

Living overseas is definitely not for everyone. It exposes your every weakness, from interpersonal to food quirks, the gamut but I miss it. I miss living in a place that people saved for a year to spend two weeks in and I lived there every single day. I did quiet times on the beach five minutes from my home. Everyday was an adventure. I don't hate living in the states but I certainly am rarely surprised by what happens in an average day.

So here I am faced with a few dilemmas. Do I stay in the USA and get a job that pays well and builds a retirement pension? This will also cement my status as a teacher and lead to better jobs. Or do I go overseas? If so, where? Brunei? Malaysia? or maybe Jeddah, Saudi Arabia? It's on the Red Sea, some of the best diving in the world. Korea pays well and I think Air Asia is starting a cheap flight from there to KL. I'll be praying and applying for the next few months. We will see what happens in this new year of 2009. One thing for sure, one year from now and my situation will be vastly different.

Happy and blessed new year.