Koh Phi Phi: A Gorgeous Tourist Trap

Let’s face it: Westerners love Thailand. Hordes of them flock to Thailand from Europe to escape the brutal winters but also North Americans can be found as well. The culture is rich, the beer is cheap, the sex is plentiful and the scenery spectacular. Nowhere have I found an intersection of these ideas as evident as on Koh Phi Phi.

Evidently, in the early 1990’s Phi Phi was a sleepy little island an hour and a half by ferry from Phuket or Krabi. Then Alex Garland wrote a book called “The Beach” which was made into a movie in 1999 starring Leonardo Dicaprio. Suddenly the island became a mecca on the backpacker’s trail. Then it was devastated by the tsunami and has been rebuilt and is thriving once again. It teems with visitors from all over the world during the high season from early December to end of April.

Phi Phi is gorgeous. You can see the draw for the Northern Europeans suffering through six months of winter to step on a flight and spend two weeks basking in the sun and surf of Phi Phi. It is dumb bell shaped, with the western side being sheer cliffs that draw rock climbers from around the world to attempt routes up the various faces. The ‘handle’ of the dumb bell is a sandy beach with a bay to the north and one to the south. Sandwiched on this sand bar is a labyrinth of streets, shops, guest houses, restaurants, bars, massage parlours and tattoo shops. The sunsets looking to the northwest from Loh Dalum Bay are spectacular.

One of the sunsets on Loh Dalum Bay

“The Beach” is the now popular name for Maya Beach, on Lay Phi Phi, a separate island accessible by a 15-20 minute boat ride. Maya Bay is spectacular for several reasons. It is hemmed in by cliffs on nearly every side and these cliffs contrast with the turquoise-tinged water in dramatic fashion. It is also spectacular for the mobs that turn up there every day. Scores of boats ferry hundreds of people to the beach and bob just offshore waiting to take them back to Koh Phi Phi. One large vessel was spilling out snorkelers as if it were a plant spewing spores. In the end 200 or so of its offspring littered the water surrounding the boat. Maya Bay, albeit beautiful, becomes choked boats and people.

A view of Maya Beach and the waters of Maya Bay.

Tattoos seemed to be the fashion of choice and peeked out at you from under shorts and straps or covered entire backs. The shops were open air and as you walked past you could watch creations being inked into existence. Thai writing was a popular choice amongst the ‘farang’, which is Thai for foreigner.

Backpackers like their alcohol and it was abundant on Phi Phi. Bars lined the beach of Loh Dalum Bay and the revelers were spoiled for choice. Many of the bars put on ‘fire shows’. This is where young Thai males twirl batons or nunchuk like implements that are doused in kerosene and set ablaze. Some of the fire artists were amazing. Others were not and others looked to be no older than 12 or 13. Later, flaming limbo, flaming jump rope and a game of “jump through the ring of fire” were played using volunteers from the crowd.

A fire twirler in front of Apache Beach Bar

A bucket is the cheap way to get drunk on Phi Phi. Most shops sell a kit that is a bucket, a can of Coke, a small bottle of Red Bull and then some kind of whisky. You buy one, empty the contents into the bucket and consume via a straw. Now go jump through a ring of flames for sure fire (pun intended) fun.

As you walked to the west side, the beach was really nice with no crowds and a good breeze. In the warren of streets in the small town it was sweltering.

There are some Thais on Phi Phi. They drive the boats, staff the guest houses, are clerks at the small trinket or sundries shops but in general it feels like they are the foreigners. Phi Phi is done by Westerners for Westerners.

The good thing about Phi Phi is there is plenty to keep you busy for a week or two. Work on your tan. Dive a couple of days. Learn to rock climb. Trek up to the viewpoint. Eat and drink any kind of food you desire. Take a Thai cooking class.

In the end Phi Phi is an island paradise that insulates you from Thailand. British or American breakfast followed by a lie on the beach with a book and a bucket in the evening give no chance to see the poverty stricken rural areas with its dusty streets or the throngs and jams of Bangkok or the AIDS/HIV and sex worker issues that plague the country. Not only it is an escape from the brutal winters of Europe but it is also an escape from the Thailand as well.

Long tail boats decorated in Thai fashion.